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Monday, November 19, 2007

I am bored.

Frankly speaking, if I had something to do, I wouldn't be blogging. I don't mean this in a bad way, but seriously... It's getting a little too boring at work.

Not that I am arrogant, but I think that blogging about my life can be pretty draining sometimes... I am okay with people reading about my life, but let's face it - All of us has little secrets in us that we do not want to publish for the whole world to see. Only God knows my little secrets and as far as I know, I am not ready to let these secrets go yet.

That is why when sometimes, some of my friends would ask me why I did not put up posts, it's because of this very reason. If I had very close friends, I would probably share my secrets with them, but there are only very few people who are close to me. Perhaps, just one or two. Of course, it takes a lot of trust to reveal what's in me. That's why my blog has always been empty, empty and empty. So empty.

I don't like to say that I am being pessimistic about things. I am not, just that I choose not to tell. Sometimes, I think talking/ blogging is a very draining thing to do. Once what you hold dear to you gets leaked out, some other people would pass it on to other people. And that's what I find really draining. People whom I trust leak out my dearest, dearest secrets out of their mouth carelessly. I dislike this. I hate this. It's been a long time since I have been truthful in my blog. But at least, I have got nothing to hide now. I am just simply saying what I truly feel about people out there.

It could also be because I am a complex person, and the way I think is just so... very confusing, complicated and contradicting. I like to look at things at many perspectives, but these so many perspectives always bring about chaos in my head. In other words, my mind is just like a mental battlefield.

I remember I did this personality test a few months ago... It is so true! Whatever it describes about me is just so true. I think if I had not changed to be more open about my feelings, I wouldn't be able to put up such a post, because people would think I am just being arrogant and all. But now, I am putting up this post for the sake of explaining why my blog is so outdated - almost all the time. Many a times, because I tried to protect other's feelings, I end up getting hurt myself. And I hate fear. I hate people to get angry at me, because I would fear, even when sometimes the fault doesn't lie with me. I want to protect people around me, that's for sure, but sometimes I don't do it properly.

Well, here's the report.

Click to view my Personality Profile page

ISFJ Personality Type

ISFJs direct their energy towards the inner world of thoughts and emotions. They try to clarify ideas and information, particularly when it relates to people and important relationships. They are quiet, serious observers of people, and are often both conscientious and loyal.

What makes an ISFJ tick?

The Dominant function is the perceptive one of Sensing. Characteristics associated with this function include:
-Likes looking at information in terms of facts and details
-Focuses more on the here and now rather than possibilities for the future
-Feels comfortable in areas of proven experience
-Takes a realistic approach
-The perceptive Sensing function is introverted. That is, Sensing is used primarily to govern the inner world of thoughts and emotions. The ISFJ will therefore:
-Seek to develop a realistic understanding of the world as it is, in the light of what he/she observes
-Be pragmatic in nature, constantly learning to adapt to the world as it is now
Observe in a subjective way, selecting and relating facts that others would not, and seeing those facts more in terms of impressions and significance than pure fact

The Sensing function is primarily supported by extraverted Feeling judgement, That is, Feeling judgement is used primarily to manage the outer world of actions and spoken words. This will modify the way that the Sensing is directed, by:
- focusing the (inner world) Sensing on ideas and possibilities that relate to people
- expressing appreciation for the contributions of others, particularly where they have done or said something that the ISFJ sees as significant
- making decisions on the basis of values that support the ISFJ's understanding of the world
- reinforcing the subjectivity of observation
- The classic temperament of an ISFJ is Epimethean, or Melancholic, for whom a basic driving force is duty, service and the need to belong.

Contributions to the team of an ISFJ

In a team environment, the ISFJ can contribute by:
- working hard and efficiently to complete tasks by the deadlines set
- building team spirit through maintaining good relationships with each team member, being accepting of their contributions, and promoting harmony and co-operation
- contributing practical skills in organising people
- ensuring that everyone in the team feels valued, and that their needs are met
- asking for contributions from all team members, and seeking to arrive at consensus decisions
- maintaining respect for established hierarchies and traditions
- striving to ensure that people are happy with the service provided

The potential ways in which an ISFJ can irritate others include:
- avoiding conflict, and not giving criticism when it is needed
- not articulating his/her understanding of the situation
- not seeing the wood for the trees
- failing to state his/her own needs
- being too serious
- not promoting his/her own ideas or achievements

Personal GrowthAs with all types, the ISFJ can achieve personal growth by developing all functions that are not fully developed, through actions such as:

- articulating more of the ISFJ's own views
- developing a long term vision, that avoids focusing on details
- assertiveness training
- being more forthright, and offering direct criticism
- learning to promote the ISFJ's ideas and achievements to others, recognising that others may - well find them valuable
- undertaking a formal process of evaluation against criteria, including a cost benefit analysis

Recognising Stress

As stress increases, 'learned behaviour' tends to give way to the natural style, so the ISFJ will behave more according to type when under greater stress. For example, in a crisis, the ISFJ might:
- find a place of solitude in which to think and work
- value the efforts of others and appreciate their encouragement
- use tried and trusted means of solving problems, possibly failing to recognise the need for change
- use pragmatic solutions at the expense of the long term

Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the ISFJ's shadow may appear - a negative form of ENTP. Example characteristics are:
- being very intolerant of others who do not act competently
- suggesting impractical ideas
- being critical of others, and finding fault with almost everything
- having a gloomy view of the future
- being argumentative

The shadow is part of the unconscious that is often visible to others, onto whom the shadow is projected. The ISFJ may therefore readily see these faults in others without recognising it in him/her self.

Extracted from: http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/myers-briggs/isfj.htm

{/11/19/2007 02:06:00 PM}
Vintage Love:DD

Friday, November 16, 2007

The Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Side

This, I so agree.
Having to work for close to 3 months, I think that studying is so much better. Why? Here's what I personally think -

1. You have more friends to interact with

2. Studying allows time to fly (Not exactly, just that time passes faster because you are so engrossed in your textbooks and friends)

3. You don't have to pay so much for transport (It's costing me at least $90/month)

4. Excercise is always readily available (Really depends on which institute you are in, but really, much depends on self-discipline too)

5. You don't have to think about what to wear to work or obeying the house rules (that is, if you are still in Junior College/Secondary School/Primary School)

6. Clothes that you have are never enough for you (Now I see why my mum has approximately 2-3 cupboards worth of clothes)

7. Freedom

Work is tiring me out. I think it's just because of the nature of my job. A little mundane. No stress though. What stress can you possibly have as a data entry clerk? Practically, none. But because it's so mundane, I have to drag myself out of bed every morning at 5.30am, even when I feel like I weigh a ton and could immeditaely fall back asleep in bed. But really, it is always the money that motivates me. Approximately $55 a day, for 8.5 hours, not too bad a job.

Nothing but work, work and work has been filling my head these few days. I am thinking of getting another part-time job. I must clarify - I am not a die-hard workaholic. It is the circumstances that my family has that I have no choice but to conform to working part-time. I am not really complaining, since the money I get will be put into my education.

Been a little stressed lately, looking at my mum's refreshing and vibrant personality fading away these few days. It aches me alot. Sometimes, I hate myself for being selfish. Especially when I lend my mum a sum of money, but I have to get it back because it's for my education in polytechnic. I wish I could just tell her,"Mummy, you don't have to return me the money. Don't worry about it." Unfortunately, that's not going to be the case. She's always so troubled over financial matters. I guess my part-time job also means I can take care of my own necessities (food, toothpaste, etc, etc). In that way, I'll probably be able to lighten her burden. I have to be selfish enough to get the money back from her. Otherwise, when I start my education in Polytechnic, I will have to ask for my allowance from her, which I haven't done since I was 14. So this sum of money is really... I guess, important to me.

Sometimes I think that if we were better off, then probably I wouldn't have to work so hard. In a way, working for my own keep actually gave me quite a bit of independence. And since I would be paying part of my polytechnic course fees on my own, working hard and to the best of my ability would be a voluntary reflex. I am tired. But I can't stop. Studying, is really, a blessing. That's what I think.

Many a time, I look at my mum's depressed face and I think to myself...

I have to study hard and do well, because Mum didn't receive adequate education and now she's slogging. And I want to relieve my mum of that. She deserves a better life for suffering for almost 20 odd years of her life. I can't stop at a diploma. It's not enough.

These may be just simple words... No action to it yet. But it's the determination that matters. Although Polytechnic education is the more expensive route, but this is one route I chose on my own. And I have to work for it, not alone - but with God's guidance and mighty strength. I won't regret what I have chosen. I have to carve a brighter future out for mysel fand all those around me, but of course, listening to God's advice as well. I can't do this alone. I know I need my God.

{/11/16/2007 09:39:00 AM}
Vintage Love:DD

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Wasn't really in a good mood today.

What made it worse was a rude greeting from the MediaCorp toilet cleaner. She was mopping the floor in the toilet and I had to wash my hands. So I asked politely if the toilet could be used. Then she asked why I wanted to use the toilet in an agressive manner. I was shocked. I thought that this aunty has a nice personality, since I see her almost every morning on my way in. And so I told that I wanted to wash my hands and she promptly replied, with a hint of irritatedness, "kuai dian la" (It means to be quick in Chinese). And then a lady flushed the toilet and walked out of the cubicle, to my surprise. Why would she be so irritated about me using the toilet when there was another lady in there?

And I walked into the office. I decided that today I shall not talk as much to the leaders and to my colleagues. But I try to be usual. I greeted them, but only to be greeted back with them looking at me. I wanted to write cold looks, but it wasn't exactly cold.

Sigh, work starts, blog later then!

{/10/11/2007 07:40:00 AM}
Vintage Love:DD

Friday, October 05, 2007

Lunchtime. XD But I can't go off as yet, It's a minute to twelve. Hahas.

Anyway, a friend of mine asked if I could post this article/essay up on my blog... And I agreed. Seems harmless though. Here it goes~

Debt of Honour: Singapore’s Ties to Myanmar’s Junta
Benjamin Cheah
The crisis in Burma is escalating. For the first time in two decades, the people are taking to the streets. It started with protests against the doubling of fuel prices, and the sharp increase in prices of essential goods and services. *1 It has now become a call for democracy, and freedom. The military has seen fit to respond with tear gas, arrests, beatings, and live rounds. State television claims that there are nine dead. Witnesses believe that the true toll lies in the hundreds. *2The source of this turmoil lies with the junta in power. After seizing power in 1962, the then-State Law and Order Restoration Committee embarked on the ‘Burmese Road to Socialism’, an economic policy that has done nothing but to impoverish the people. The people are kept in line through intimidation, systematic rape, arbitrary detention, forced labour, and other tools of state terror. The junta and its cronies virtually control the nation’s wealth, making tremendous profits from sales of drugs, gems, and timber. This combination of poverty, inequality, and repression has exploded into the situation we see today. *3
That the regime was responsible for this is not in doubt. However, it could not have accomplished this without the assistance of other governments. In particular, one country has provided significant economic and military assistance to the junta, enabling it to restore ‘law and order’ while fattening its bank accounts. That nation is the Republic of Singapore.
Above the board, Singapore has done a lot of business with Myanmar. SingTel was the first firm to provide Burmese businesses and government offices with the ability to establish inter- and intra-corporate communications in over 90 countries. At the same time, all computers, software, e-mail services and telecommunications devices in Burma must be licensed, a nearly impossible feat in itself. Coupled with the prohibitively high cost of computers in Burma *3 , and it can be inferred that the regime is intent on denying communications technology to the Burmese political opposition. This act serves to further enrich the Myanmese elites, and strengthen their grip on power.Singapore invested S$1.57 billion in Myanmar in 2005, making her the largest direct foreign investor from the Association of Southeast Asian Nations. Since 1988, Singapore has invested about S$2 billion in Myanmar, mostly in tourism and the military. *4 Given that the junta’s cronies virtually control the legal economy, it’s safe to say that these monies have gone into their wallets, and into producing arms and ammunition. A substantial portion of Singapore's investments has gone into Asia World, a Burmese construction company, which is owned by drug traffickers and money launderers. *3, *4, *5Lo Hsing Han is the chair of Asia World, founded in 1992. Ostensibly a successful businessman, he has served as ethnic advisor to former Burmese Prime Minister Khin Nyunt, and continues to oversee his drug operations in Burma. It has been alleged that Asia World has been used as a front for drug trafficking. *3, *5 His son, Steven Law, is the firm's managing director, and runs various other firms, which happen to be subsidiaries of Asia World. *3, *5 He also reportedly handles his father's financial activities. 3 Steven Law married his Singaporean business partner, Cecilia Ng, in 1996. Using her connections to the government, she allegedly launders money for Burma's drug barons, in addition to other legitimate business dealings. *3, *5, *6, *7It has been further reported that Singapore allows Burmese drug barons to travel freely, the junta's generals to visit Singapore for medical treatment, in addition to turning a blind eye to shady financial practices. *3, *5, *6, *7 There is no doubt that a connection exists between the junta and the government of Singapore.This is not the end. The Singapore government has armed the regime. Singapore Technologies has built a state-of-the-art cyber warfare centre in Yangon. With it, the regime’s secret police can intercept a spectrum of communications, from telephone calls to faxes to e-mail, from over twenty countries *3, *5, *9, allowing them to keep track of political dissidents. On October 6, 1988, hundreds of mortars, munitions and military supplies were shipped to Yangon. They were marked "Allied Ordnance, Singapore", which is a subsidiary of Chartered Industries of Singapore *3, *8, *9 , now part of ST Engineering. The shipment also included license-built Swedish rockets, violating an agreement with Sweden that required authorisation for arms exports. *3, *9 The following year, Singapore acted as a middleman for a shipment of grenade launchers and anti-tank weapons from Belgium and Israel. *3, *8 In 1992, Singapore brokered a $1.5 million shipment of mortars from Portugal, violating a European Commission arms embargo. *3, *8, *9 In 1995, Chartered Industries of Singapore built an arms factory in Burma, now used to produce weapons for the Burmese military. *9 Singapore has armed the regime.These incidents are just the ones documented in the public domain. There could have been other shady deals in recent times, one of which could have surfaced to sting Singapore.On the 27th of September, a Singaporean was shot by Myanmese riot police. *10, *11 According to a photograph of a recovered rubber bullet *11, there are two legible English words inscribed on it: 'control' and 'rubber'. The official language of Myanmar is Burmese, with little attention paid to the English language; it is therefore highly improbable that the round was made produced locally. Europe and the United States have enforced sanctions against Myanmar, and have no reason to ship non-lethal ammunition to Burma. China, India and Thailand, Myanmar's largest trading partners, probably would not use English markings on ammunition, because there is little reason to mark ammunition in a language that ordinary workers probably could not read. But Singapore uses English markings on ammunition. Therefore, I suspect that the round was made in Singapore, and exported to Burma. There, it was used to shoot a Singaporean in the leg. If nothing else, this must be poetic injustice.The Singapore Government has allowed the junta and its cronies to get richer and richer, while the people have to bear with Third World living standards and systematic oppression. Singapore has turned a blind eye to international criminal activity operating out of Myanmar, whose ringleaders visit Singapore every now and then. Most damning of all, Singapore has sold weapons to Burma, the same arms that the authorities use to keep the junta in place. Singapore is therefore indirectly responsible for the current state of affairs in Myanmar.The world is watching. Singapore currently holds the chairmanship of ASEAN. ASEAN has condemned the junta’s response to the protests. *13 Singapore, in particular, is engaging in ‘quiet diplomacy’, and is backing United Nations envoy Ibrahim Gambari in his attempt to defuse the situation. *14 But this is not nearly enough.If Singapore truly wishes for an end to the crisis, and is genuinely concerned about the people of Burma, it is her duty to send a strong message to the junta. Singapore must declare, and cease, any and all arms exports to the military regime. Singapore must also impose economic sanctions on Myanmar, in particular targeting strategic resources and supplies destined for the military and the police. Singapore must withdraw all investments in firms linked to the regime, and its cronies. Singapore must also investigate all reports of money laundering on local soil, and prosecute the guilty to the fullest extent of the law. All assets belonging to the junta and its cronies must be frozen. Finally, Singapore must bar the Myanmese drug barons and junta members from setting foot in Singapore. These actions would send a more direct message to the junta than any other action by most other nations.Singapore owes the people of Burma a debt of honour. Singapore has the means to expunge it. What she needs is the political will to clean up the mess the government has created.“I, Benjamin Cheah, hereby release this essay into the public domain. I give full permission to anybody who wishes to reproduce this essay, in any form, to do so, so long as I am duly credited for the work.”Benjamin’s Cheah’s blog is at http://leounheort.blogspot.com/

Sources:1.) "Q&A: Protests in Burma." BBC News. 27 Sept. 2007. 30 Sept. 2007 http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7010202.stm.
2.)"THE TORRENT OF BAD NEWS." Yangon Thu. 29 Sept. 2007. 30 Sept. 2007 http://www.moeyyo.com/MM/archives/001004.html.
3.)Kean, Leslie, and Dennis Bernstein. "The Burma-Singapore Axis: Globalizing the Heroin Trade." Covert Action Quarterly (1998). 28 Sept. 2007 http://www.thirdworldtraveler.com/Global_Secrets_Lies/BurmaSingapore_Drugs.html
4.)"The Associated Press: Foreign Investment in Myanmar Dropped 12 Percent in 2005." BurmaNet News. 11 Jan. 2006. 28 Sept. 2007 http://www.burmanet.org/news/2006/01/11/the-associated-press-foreign-investment-in-myanmar-dropped-12-percent-in-2005.
5.)Ellis, Eric. "Web of Cash, Power, and Cronies." The Age 29 Sept. 2007. 30 Sept. 2007 http://www.theage.com.au/news/world/web-of-cash-power-and-cronies/2007/09/28/1190486569946.html?page=fullpage.
6.)McKenna, Michael. "Singapore's Hand in Golden Triangle: Australian." Singapore Angle. 23 Nov. 2005. 28 Sept. 2007 .
7.)Casanier, Francois. "Kun Sa's Surrender, a Narco-Dictatorship in Progress." Khun Sa's Surrender, a Narco-Dictat. 13 Jan. 1996. 29 Sept. 2007 http://www.ibiblio.org/obl/reg.burma/archives/199606/msg00168.html.
8.)Ashton, William. "Myanmar and Israel Develop Military." Myanmar and Israel Develop Military. 29 Sept. 2007 http://www.ibiblio.org/obl/reg.burma/archives/200008/msg00005.html.
9.)Barnes, William, and Bruce Hawke. "The BurmaNet News: July 23, 1998." The BurmaNet News. 29 Sept. 2007 http://www.burmalibrary.org/reg.burma/archives/199807/msg00515.html.
10.)"MFA Says It's Appalled by Violent Act Towards S'Porean." The Straits Times 28 Sept. 2007. 28 Sept. 2007 http://www.straitstimes.com/Latest%2BNews/Singapore/STIStory_162149.html.
11.)Htike, Ko. "Ko Htike's Prosaic Collection." Ko Htike's Prosaic Collection. 28 Sept. 2007. 28 Sept. 2007 http://ko-htike.blogspot.com/.
12.)DSCF7041.JPG. 28 Sept. 2007 . (From source 11, under post on 28 September)
13.)Pereira, Derwin. "Asean Rebukes Myanmar Over Use of Force." The Straits Times 29 Sept. 2007: 1.

14.)Pereira, Derwin. "Important to Avert Violence: Goerge Yeo." The Straits Times 28 Sept. 2007: 7.

{/10/05/2007 11:57:00 AM}
Vintage Love:DD

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Yes, yes, lunch break now.

*Sigh* You know what? NEVER sign a contract until you know YOUR benefits and CPF and all the minor, minor details...

I signed the contract without prior information on the job scope, benefits, etc... So... yeah. I only have myself to blame.

3 days leave. When you get an MC, that's one leave gone. Why? Because there's no MC benefit. :( After working for so long, I found out this sad sad fact. So... I might have to say bye bye to church camp... Unless I pray hard that God keeps me healthy and going strong!

7 more minutes to the end of break. 4 hours and 3 minutes more to work ends.

{/9/25/2007 12:48:00 PM}
Vintage Love:DD