Friday, November 16, 2007
The Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Side
This, I so agree.
Having to work for close to 3 months, I think that studying is so much better. Why? Here's what I personally think -
1. You have more friends to interact with
2. Studying allows time to fly (Not exactly, just that time passes faster because you are so engrossed in your textbooks and friends)
3. You don't have to pay so much for transport (It's costing me at least $90/month)
4. Excercise is always readily available (Really depends on which institute you are in, but really, much depends on self-discipline too)
5. You don't have to think about what to wear to work or obeying the house rules (that is, if you are still in Junior College/Secondary School/Primary School)
6. Clothes that you have are never enough for you (Now I see why my mum has approximately 2-3 cupboards worth of clothes)
7. Freedom
Work is tiring me out. I think it's just because of the nature of my job. A little mundane. No stress though. What stress can you possibly have as a data entry clerk? Practically, none. But because it's so mundane, I have to drag myself out of bed every morning at 5.30am, even when I feel like I weigh a ton and could immeditaely fall back asleep in bed. But really, it is always the money that motivates me. Approximately $55 a day, for 8.5 hours, not too bad a job.
Nothing but work, work and work has been filling my head these few days. I am thinking of getting another part-time job. I must clarify - I am not a die-hard workaholic. It is the circumstances that my family has that I have no choice but to conform to working part-time. I am not really complaining, since the money I get will be put into my education.
Been a little stressed lately, looking at my mum's refreshing and vibrant personality fading away these few days. It aches me alot. Sometimes, I hate myself for being selfish. Especially when I lend my mum a sum of money, but I have to get it back because it's for my education in polytechnic. I wish I could just tell her,"Mummy, you don't have to return me the money. Don't worry about it." Unfortunately, that's not going to be the case. She's always so troubled over financial matters. I guess my part-time job also means I can take care of my own necessities (food, toothpaste, etc, etc). In that way, I'll probably be able to lighten her burden. I have to be selfish enough to get the money back from her. Otherwise, when I start my education in Polytechnic, I will have to ask for my allowance from her, which I haven't done since I was 14. So this sum of money is really... I guess, important to me.
Sometimes I think that if we were better off, then probably I wouldn't have to work so hard. In a way, working for my own keep actually gave me quite a bit of independence. And since I would be paying part of my polytechnic course fees on my own, working hard and to the best of my ability would be a voluntary reflex. I am tired. But I can't stop. Studying, is really, a blessing. That's what I think.
Many a time, I look at my mum's depressed face and I think to myself...
I have to study hard and do well, because Mum didn't receive adequate education and now she's slogging. And I want to relieve my mum of that. She deserves a better life for suffering for almost 20 odd years of her life. I can't stop at a diploma. It's not enough.
These may be just simple words... No action to it yet. But it's the determination that matters. Although Polytechnic education is the more expensive route, but this is one route I chose on my own. And I have to work for it, not alone - but with God's guidance and mighty strength. I won't regret what I have chosen. I have to carve a brighter future out for mysel fand all those around me, but of course, listening to God's advice as well. I can't do this alone. I know I need my God.
{/11/16/2007 09:39:00 AM}
Vintage Love:DD
